My roommate told me something a few months ago that I had known for quite a while. I've got a disease. Unfortunately, it cannot be cured by more cowbell. I wish! Its called "Mother Teresa Syndrome." Sometimes this disease is a good thing; I feel bad for those around me who need help and most of the time, I help in any way I can. I love the feeling of people being dependent on me. If I worked in a homeless shelter, this would be ideal; however, in a relationship, it's mostly fatal. I have a tendency to get in relationships with boys who are girlfriend dependent. They need me. And I love it. Most of the time, they tell me all the reasons why I shouldn't be with them. "Don't date me, I'm a scum ball" they say. I'm serious though...this really has happened on way more than one occasion. A few have told me this but the others just give me lots of and lots of red flags and somehow hypnotize me and I keep walking towards the light. Not so sure why I do this. I know that it's just part of who I am, but I'm realizing more and more that I'm happier single than when in a relationship (with a man at least...I mean...lets be honest; being in a 'relationship' with Uzi for the past 18 months has changed my life!). I found out this morning that my most recent ex is already in another relationship and even though I'm not sad about it or upset, it still stings a little. Even though it's not true, it makes you feel like you weren't really that awesome after all since they got over you so quickly. I was warned, I tell you, I was warned. Did I listen?? No. Why is it that we always think that we're the exception? My family sees this pattern and tries to help me "see the light" but I'm learning the hard way that what others think is super important. I give so much of myself that I end up getting hurt because I'm the only one who has really sacrificed anything for the relationship. If you never put your heart into it, you never really lose anything. Its just whenever that dang Mother Teresa kicks in that I end up getting kicked in the head. So is it better to put less of yourself into a relationship so that you get hurt less or to put more of yourself into it so that you get hurt more? Thoughts please...
6 comments:
My dear sweet Stephanie, that is the million dollar question. Although, I think at the end of the day - when you are with that person who you'll be with for the rest of forever, it is better to give it all. Finding that person you know you'll be wtih for the rest of forever...that's the really hard part.
Love you girly!
I'm the same exact way in relationships and always wondered the same question. My advice is not to stop being who you are. Be your whole self with everyone and the person you're suppose to be with will be grateful. :)
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
-Winston Churchill
I really wish the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” came out five years sooner than it did. I wasted so much of my time and energy on guys who were just not that into me. It’s amazing how many guys I thought had commitment issues until they met right girl for them. I felt so incomplete as a woman without a boyfriend that I often settled for a Mr. Right Now. I’ve very grateful that God did not let me marry some of the guys that if I had the choice I would have settled for. I look back now and wished that I had made better use of my time. Remember that you are being given a gift that you don’t want. I didn’t want it either. The gift is TIME. It totally sucks. I know. I also know that when the right one comes around you wont have to hold back or play games. You are an amazing person with so much to give. I adore you and wish I could be more like you in so many ways. I know there is a Mr. Right out there for you. You wont have to be Mother Teresa for him.
Don't change a thing, just be more open minded. You do the things you do because that's who you are and it's a good thing. What's even better is when the guy comes along that is "the one" you will come to see that he is giving to the relationship just as much as you are. It's not longer going to be the Mother Teresa Syndrom because you'll be dating the Pope!
Trust me, being a giver is a good thing! At any moment, whether it's needed in your life or theirs, it's a good thing. You are a good thing!
I'm hoping that he'll be Mormon, so that would make him a Mormon Pope, or Mope.
Post a Comment