Friday, October 12, 2007

I was just thinking...

...that I have been missing you for way too long.

I haven't been a good blogger lately, so for that, I am sorry.

Lately I've just felt so out of the loop. Not in a bad way actually. I just feel like I'm very disconnected. I mean...my latest crush is on a guy who chews tobacco and lives in West Virginia. I don't think about him all the time, but when we talk on the phone, I can't stop smiling. I love that. I'm not that into him since I don't even know him that well, but I do think he's great. Crushes are fun. Seriously though, that is the most exciting thing going on in my life right now.

I miss having someone to do things with all the time. I know that I've posted about this semi recently, but this is something that I've had in my life for the past who-know-how-long. I told a few people recently how I'm not very good at superficial relationships. I just don't do it as well as the bff thing. Since graduating from high school, I've had a constant stream of best friends who live in the same city as I do. We've done everything together. Dani, Kari, Jacque, Toni, Sarah, Missy, Kim, Melissa, Matt, Scott, Sean, Tara, Tammy, Brandon, Keri, Autumn, Rick, Silvia, Kristy, and ___. I just wish I knew who the "blank" belonged to.

I'm ok, but I really am tired of being alone here. I don't care if its a girl or if its a boy. I just want the void to be filled. Being alone is hard. Not to say that I don't have amazing friends. I do. I've mentioned that before and I mean it. And some of them live in San Francisco. Its just been too long....like...its been since May that I had someone to hang out with all the time. I realize that I have been traveling a lot lately and I fully recognize that some of my close friends have boyfriends and husbands that they should be spending more time with than with me. That is the way it should be, but it doesn't make it any easier for me.

I'm realizing while writing this that I think I'm just entering into a different phase of life. And that's ok. Its just a strange transition for me. I'm not close to an emotional breakdown or anything, so no worries.


In better news, it is Red Pants Friday. Hooray! I even have a picture of the Red Pants Friday Club which I can share with you next Red Pants Friday. You won't be disappointed; thats for sure. I also was taken out to lunch today by a friend here at work and drum roll please...it was in honor of my birthday! Hooray again! Due to scheduling conflicts, today was the first day we were able to make solid plans since my big day. I've been celebrating for 5 weeks straight now. I love it. Also in today's news, a man in his late 50's asked me to dinner while we're in New Orleans. I mean...he's kind of a big shot here at work and though he's semi creepy sometimes, he's never been inappropriate. Do I go? Do I make up an excuse at the last minute so that I don't have to go alone? Ack! The dilemma! Advice please!

This weekend I have plans to relax and hang out with some close friends here in the bay. I also have to speak in a fireside at church this Sunday. Eek! Blast. Maybe I should have worked on that today instead of trying to figure out my Halloween costume.

Have a great weekend everyone.

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