Example 1: Last night Amy used the epilator on the back of my thigh so that I could stand the pain.
Example 2: Last night Tracy waxed the rest of my thigh where I wouldn't allow Amy to use said epilator. I didn't even flinch with the waxing after using the torture device. Seriously. And she was waxing a more sensitive area, if you know what I mean. And you do. Right?
Example 3: This morning I sent an email to about 9 of my girlfriends with some personal drama which naturally lead to the planning of my funeral, as follows:
Me: Kristy is already working on my eulogy because I think I might have an anxiety attack sometime soon and die.
Nice knowing you all.
Me to Kim:
Please start preparing a song for my funeral. If you and Zach could collaborate on Beyonce's Halo, that would be amazing.
Thanks in advance.
Silvia:Oh my gosh even my heart beat faster now ... I am having a heart attack ....what are you going to do Steph? I am so nervous now
Me: Kim has already agreed to sing at my funeral. If you and Justin could dance, that would be great.
Kristy: HAAAAA HA HA HAAAAAAthat's all I have to say.oh and thisBAHHAHAAA HA HA HA HA AAAAAA
Lanae:
Let's chat soon, I need more details.p.s. I can take care of the floral arrangements ;)
Silvia:
ok I think we can manage to dance for sure !!! Maybe some salsa to make it more fun ...
Kristy:
Steph does like herself a mean Salsa! Can you do it on the casket is the question!? With Lanae's flowers in your mouth?
Liz:
After the salsa I volunteer to properly wail and scream and fall into
your grave after you.
Jackie:
along those lines....i know a great photographer.
Steph:
Steph, this is shaping up to be the best funeral I will have ever attended and I am staring to look forward to it (not the you dying part but the entertainment). This will surely beat out the motorcycle gang/christian revival out door concert funeral I went to a few years back in the middle of nowhere, ID.
Veronica:
I'm envisioning feather boas and sequins. Lots of sequins.
Lanae:
With guac too! I think what also would be nice is an ice sculpture.
Me:
Don't forget about serving tacos. And v, I'm glad I've been working out so that I can throw myself into that vat of chocolate in a string bikini and stilettos.
Kim:
Hold it...this is beginning to sound more like a bachelorette party than a funeral.
Thanks to my good friends, I am going to have the most awesome funeral ever. Hope you all can come. I, for one, will be sad to miss it.
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