The only advice column I will ever write. Probably.

I saw something today on someone's blog about introducing people. And I have a little tip for those of you who have trouble remembering people's names and often have a wingman.

When I was in college, Matt and I were inseparable. Matt is adored by many a male and female and is also horrible at remembering people's names. Without fail, his adoring fans would approach him wherever we were and he would hardly ever know who they were even if they thought Matt was a close friend. So we came up with a system. If he didn't immediately say: "{George}, this is Stephanie, Stephanie this is {George}" upon seeing them, I would take this as a signal that he had no idea what this person's name was and I would say:

"Hi. I'm Stephanie. What's your name?" Bingo. We both got the name without making Matt look like a forgetful poop. Sometimes I would add "How do you know Matt?"

I've even started applying this in my own day to day life. If I am with a friend who runs into someone and I am not introduced immediately, I will take it upon myself to go through the exercise mentioned above. It is always awkward when you are with someone who doesn't introduce you to their friends.

And now you know.

Catch up part 1 - Duck Beach

This year Duck Beach was a major highlight. We played so hard that by the time I left, I looked Latina and had averaged approximately 4 hours of sleep per night for a week straight.

We had so many good times. So many. I will just let the pictures speak for me.

Always a good time with Scott.

Watermelon in the pool with my girls. Oh how I love this photo.

This is how rumors start about things at Duck Beach.

And this photo may be the wallpaper on my phone.

Uzi and Toddles

The view during sacrament meeting. Yep, I am sitting in the hall and there are hundreds of people standing around me. During sacrament meeting. This is not after church.

View from our kitchen deck.

Scott is obsessed with taking pyramid photos. Obsessed. In turn, I have a collection of pyramid photos. Luckily, they are always with some of my most favorite people.

Um, sorry, Scott....

Uzi and I had to hit up an island so that we could keep up with our Summer Island Adventure. We went down to Roanoke Island for a few hours the morning that we flew home. I have been there before, but it was the first unsuccessful English colony in North America. I get excited about it. =nerd

And for the Grand Finale, some mathematical equations for you:

1. Steph + Todd = Steph Todd

2. Kristy Uzelac + Stephanie Zundel = Kristephanie Zundelac (duh)

3. Me + Duck Beach + Good Friends = Happiness

PS - Wendy made a great list from people's follow up emails of fun memories from our house this year. Since this blog is really for me anyway (sorry, Rach), here is the list.

1. Dorian's cowboy recitation of "Square Dancing on My Heart" at Duck Deli

2. "Just Dance"...but not with the yellow controller... for HOURS... never got old

3. Mauri's photo shoot

4. Watching Kristine, Scott, and Christian work out while the rest of us ate breakfast

5. The video sent to our iphones of Vicki running and (trying to) jump on Shamu while Michael moves it out of the way!!!

6. Cruzin' to Duck and crankin' the tunes!!!

7. Norfolk Costco reunions with other 'Mormon Ducks'

8. Dance Parties galore til 3:00am!! Including spontaneous new dance moves such as the "Don't Stop Believing" group sit

9. Karaoke!! Don's Backstreet Boys backup dancers (Wendy, Kristi, & Alicia) and adoring crowd of female groupies

10. Double dream hands & feet dance by everyone in the house at once! shoulder. chin. shoulder, shoulder, shoulder...

11. Trying to build a beach pyramid with sunscreen lathered bodies

12. Toothpicks. Diver down. SAFETY FIRST!!! Carrie's epic fake-out bumping Scott out of the game & Anna getting pushed back in again, and again. SAFETY FIRST!!!

13. Scrum on steroids--Rita not being able to remember to let go of the cue ball

14. Ultimate Frisbee intimidating kick-off dances and goal celebrations

15. Dance prison--how was that Travis!

16. Alicia and Boone's eye of the tiger Rocky routine--complete with arm-chair cover & killer punches

17. Spencer's "hit me baby one more time" dedicated to Wendy (kinda freaky)

18. Brett's black man's hair

19. The birth of the best dance move ever...the jumping shimmy (perfected by Jen) :)

20. Scott's "chicky chicky parm parm" and more of his and Vick's Porter-isms and abbreviations

21. 3am viewing of Tom Haverford's food names...over, and over, and over.

22. "What you ought to know" celeb viewing

23. Rook tourney until the wee hours complete with pu-pu-pu-pu-poker faces. Or not.

24. Patti Papsicle and her many expressions of surprise. "Yeah, I was supwised."

25. Travis packing heat on his swim trunks!

26. Culinary genius of the meal leaders and their crews--pistachio salmon, margarita chicken, kabobs, mexican corn, breakfast blankies, brown sugar bacon, and who knew so much could be done with pre-birds??

27. Hot tub confessionals. (Brett's specialty).

28. Beach cruisers and long walks...

29. The "No Recording" sign outside our house.

30. Tons of toe trauma--including Brett jack-knifing his foot

31. Flying fighting kite, puzzling and riding house bike with no theft

32. Boogie boarding catching some totally awesome waves in the warm ocean

33. Trying to take the raft and oars out past the waves and getting pummeled!

34. Chasing crabs and being brave with Alicia to let them walk on our feet...Todd trying to be brave and then giving up and screaming like a girl

35. Pool play, pink floaties, watermelon, toothpicks and Shamu not to mention the subterranean divers

36. Martha Washington up-do contests in the hot tub

37. Patti singing "You Shook Me All Night Long"--OPERA STYLE

38. Watermelon Pool Scumming--including the opposing teams' clever strategies of "7 minutes in heaven" & "wedgies from hell"

39. Rob K's flash demonstration of why his chest doesn't look like the house owner's picture

40. Scott making wind for Alicia's hair with a cookie sheet during her celine dion cover debut

Adventures in Dating

A month or so ago I had a long-time friend send me a link to a dating website. If you know me well, you know that I have no opposition to online dating. On this specific site, you enter very basic information such as: if you are religious or into politics and to what degree. And you put up a photo. Done.

I put up a date idea a few weeks ago and had some guy send me a message saying that he was interested in my date idea. The conversation that followed totally made my day:

Me: Hey there! Still want to check out the Cloisters?
Him: sure. why not? what sort of serious faith do you have that fits into other?
Me: Are you asking me what religion I am? I'm fairly sure you are - and I'm Mormon, actually.
What about you?

Him: not really religious at all. think it might be more fun if were then cause it would seem more wrong for all the things i do :)

Me: having rules to break always adds to the excitement, for sure. ha

Him: so you break the rules often? isn't it too hot today to wear magic underwear let alone any underwear? :)

Me: Wouldn't you like to know....

Him: actually i would...

Me: look. if this underwear were magic, i wouldn't be online dating. lets be real.

I win.

Sweaty in the City

I have thought about revisiting the pic per day project just so that everyone out there knows that I'm ok. I was going to start to do it tonight, but I was sweaty from my running class (in which I ran the fastest that I've ever run and then felt like I was going to overheat in the middle of Central Park). So I didn't. So there.

I was told yesterday that my blog is suffering. It is - I need to figure out how to get this thing going again. Part of the reason that I haven't been saying much is that this month has been full of hard things. Really hard things.

First off, my parents are doing well. My mom's prognosis went from being in Spain recovering for 10 months to going home next week. Of course there are going to be doctors at the airport to greet her when she gets back to Utah and who knows what is in store from here on out, but she is looking forward to yelling at doctors and having them understand her. I have been extremely touched by the Relief Society sisters in Valencia, Spain, who have taken care of my mom when no one else really could. They have been amazing. My parents were able to see each other for the first time in nearly a month on Sunday morning since my Dad was able to get on a plane finally.

Just when that is getting under control, I get a text from one of my nearest and dearest that his mother had an aneurysm and is more or less now in a coma. I have always been close with this particular friend's mother and it just fills my heart to the brim to know that she isn't doing well. Ugh. I have a lot of friends who are going through a lot currently and it has been overwhelming. I sure love you guys.

Then He-who-shall-not-be-named came to town. I knew that he was coming to New York sometime at the end of June/beginning of July. What I didn't know was that he would end up staying at my apartment and that I would spend the better part of a week with him - and I mean every second while I wasn't at work. I have been thinking about what I wanted to say here about the entire situation and I'm not super sure what to say. You should know that I still really love him. I think I always will. I have never done anything but be kind and just love him and unfortunately have put up with him not treating me in like manner. Here are some pictures from our week together:

I am also happy to say that I am now completely over him. It is fairly empowering to be able to say that you love someone so much and that you hope that they have a wonderful life without you. That chapter of my life is officially over. Can I have an amen?

In the meantime, I will be blogging about happy things going on with me. For example, my trip to Massachusetts for the 4th of July. Duck Beach! My upcoming trip to Seattle and San Francisco. How I got a booty call a few hours after Darrel left town on Sunday. Well, maybe I won't be blogging about that. While you are processing that information, I will be going to the frozen tundra of Seattle and San Francisco in the Summer and I am excited about every second of it. I promise to have picture overload from that.

Because you will want to know this

This week I have been spending a lot of time with this person. Just want to keep my fans informed. You may remember him from here. and especially here. Carry on.